|A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. | 40plusstillrockin.com
|Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings
|Cher says not tonight, her ass has too many miles on it
|24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not.
|Help DrewCarey Get his house and life put back together after Hurricane Harvey https://www.gofundme.com/robertson-hurricane-harvey-relief
|The Harvey Tragedy has affected the life of one of our own... DrewCarey https://www.gofundme.com/robertson-hurricane-harvey-relief
|A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have
|Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight... You're drunk! | 40plusstillrockin.com
|I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure! | 40plusstillrockin.com
|It is better to remain silent and let people think you are dumb, than to speak and remove all doubt. | 40plusstillrockin.com
|When life knocks you down, rollover, and look at the stars | 40plusstillrockin.com
|My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. | 40plusstillrockin.com
|Happy Independence Day to all, and thanks to all that have served to protect our freedoms! | 40plusstillrockin.com
|2017-07-02 ||I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. | 40plusstillrockin.com
|The fact that there's a highway to Hell and a stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers! | 40plusstillrockin.com
|Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad! Happy Father's Day! from 40plusstillrockin.com
|When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather didin his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car. | 40plusstillrockin.com
|2017-06-12 ||When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather didÂ–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car. | 40plusstillrockin.com
|Cupcakes are Muffins that believed in Miracles.... | 40plusstillrockin.com
|Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. | 40plusstillrockin.com
|My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead - My Cat | 40plusstillrockin.com
|We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. - Lily Tomlin | 40plusstillrockin.com
|The biggest lie I tell myself is, " I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it!" | 40plusstillrockin.com
|My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely! | 40plusstillrockin.com
|I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face, But with words! | 40plusstillrockin.com
|Life is like underwear, change is good! | 40plusstillrockin.com
|Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk | 40plusstillrockin.com
|Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.
|You know what's cheaper than Therapy??? Admitting you're batshit crazy and runnin' with it!!
|Let’s get a extend weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent reddish brown rodent!
|Letâ€™s get a extend weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent reddish brown rodent!
|During labor, the pain is so great that a woman... Can almost imagine what a man feels when he has Man Flu - 40plusstillrockin.com
|Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired - 40plusstillrockin.com
|2017-01-22 ||To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone - 40plusstillrockin.com
|Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody, I've got some money cause I just got paid, Now how I wish I had someone to talk to. 40plusstillrockin.com
|Happy New Year to all and wishing you all the very best that 2017 can offer! From all of us at 40plusstillrockin.com
|Our New Years Resolution is resolve to wear sensible pants that allow our buttocks the space they need while we do yardwork
|Merry Christmas to Everyone!
|2016-12-24 ||Christmas cards are a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.
|2016-12-23 ||How is the Italian version of Christmas different? One Jesus, one Mary, and 33 wise guys.
|2016-12-22 ||Lil-One: I put out for Santa
|Santa saw your Instagam pictures. You're getting a bible for Christmas
|2016-12-19 ||A group of toddlers is called a migraine
|2016-12-17 ||My 8 year old niece at a xmas dinner: "Walrus testicles are called walnuts."
|In medieval europe, being left handed was sometimes considered sufficient to identify a woman as a witch
|CNN: Underwear rules give snapshot of life under ISIS
|There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
|2016-12-02 ||Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions – on a sesame seed bun.
|2016-12-01 ||Bought some cheese at one of those fancy cheese shops today. It was legend dairy...
|2016-11-30 ||If you touch your phone in the right places, a pizza will arrive at your door.
|2016-11-29 ||“Get your panties in a bunch” would make a great slogan at Costco.
|2016-11-28 ||Its FRIDAY! Need we say more?
|2016-11-26 ||If your wife asks you if you know where the broom is, it's not a good idea to ask her if she is going somewhere.
|What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish
|When a woman says "WHAT?" It's because she's giving you a chance to change your mind
|If you wear your old prom dress to the pharmacy, they'll fill your antidepressants faster.
|2016-11-13 ||Happy Veterans Day to all of our Veterans
|R.I.P Leonard Cohen