|Christmas elves are just the larval form of Krampus.
|woodpeckers bang trees
|Every street is an arcade of dreams
|Bigfoot says he saw swamidog, but no one believes him
|"You don't have a better bad idea than this?" "This is the best bad idea we have, sir... by far."
|It's weird that we cook bacon and bake cookies.
|i'm playing experimental soccer. it's not goal oriented.
|"instead of saying "have a nice day" I think i'll start saying "have the day you deserve." You know, let karma sort that shit out"
|I have abandoned the search for truth, and am now looking for a good fantasy.
|my potato has 47 assholes
|2017-10-13 ||CHAOS - More than a theory, it's the Way of Life
|Happy Canukian Thanksgiving!
|your momma expresses the wave-particle duality concept of quantum mechanics
|Did you ever grow anything in the garden of your mind? - Fred Rogers
|2017-10-02 ||I'm a Hindu libertarian. I'd be happy to share some of my extra gods with anyone who needs one.
|i was bitten by a radioactive cicada. now all i do is sit in a tree and scream all day.
|Happy Birthday Kelly!
|the worst lap dancers in history
|Elecwnch: that's not where you are supposed to put it
|I came here to spread ranch and hold small animals, and I only have a couple gallons of ranch left.
|I miss the old days when I would think up a sinister scheme for world domination and you would show a little emotional support.
|Why fit in when you were born to stand out? - Seuss
|Chicken Little on Wall Street: "The sky is making a technical correction!"
|Q: How do you get an art major off your porch? A: Pay for the pizza.
|rich corinthian pizza
|Instead of a sign that says 'do not disturb' I need one that says "already disturbed, proceed with caution"
|Еб твою мать
|<@Elecwnch 4 inch is a useful size to me, easy to handle.
|you are a beautiful skin sock holding water and farts.
|given' up the cash for some dirty disco sex trash
|Thou Shalt Never irritate a woman who can operate a backhoe… or a chipper shredder.
|Thou Shalt Never irritate a woman who can operate a backhoe...
|inside of all of us are tiny pregnant wizards
|i'm going to use the money to buy an orphanage and then bulldoze it
|Remember, the cloaca is a bad touch spot, keep your hands to yourself!
|2017-05-15 ||Happy Mother's Day Chalkie and the rest of you mothers... :D
|2017-05-14 ||Life lesson of the day: the cloaca is a bad touch spot
|the road to hell is paved with god's intestines
|2017-05-03 ||Do not taunt the hyperdimensional space kittens if you value your hands
|does this ovipositor smell like chloroform?
|2017-04-26 ||<@Elecwnch> something i used to tell my clients: do what feels good, then three more only / if you still want more a few hours later, do so / but not right then / that's how you blow yourself
|oh holy sasquatch, make me a vessel for your wisdom
|HAPPY EXTENDED BIRTHDAY CHALKIE!! 60th birthday deserves a week!!!
|2017-04-17 ||HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHALKIE
|clean, fresh, and parasite free since 2016
|will you dress up like putin and tell me i'm pretty?
|Make Clovis Great Again
|computer, de-activate iguana.
|what's the emoji for vomiting exorcist baby?
|2017-03-19 ||amnesty international house of pancakes
|"Brethren! We have a message from another world, unknown and remote. It reads: one… two… three…" -Nikola Tesla
|that explains why she wanted to eat hay instead of making sweet sweet love
|raging gamma boners
|I observed the familiar red Oldsmobuick of Mr. Arnold T. Pants, Esquire.
|i wasn't eating them. i was rubbing them on my body to scent lure the sasquatch
|Happiest of Birthdays Wenches!
|cansado is collecting "samples"
|Who run Bartertown?
|godzilla died for our sins
| there's a fine line between fetish and psychoses
|yes, but only when my real doll is in the shop, to increase my color gamut
|2017-01-24 ||I am not an atomic playboy.
|cat lover? i thought you said "cat liver"!
|martin luther king day?"If General McClellan does not want to use the Army, I would like to borrow it for a time." -Abraham Lincoln, 1862-01-10
|"If General McClellan does not want to use the Army, I would like to borrow it for a time." -Abraham Lincoln, 1862-01-10
|May this new year bring you happiness :)
|Ah, mercury. Sweetest of the transition metals.
|"Do they get this show in Omaha?" "They see it, but they don't get it." -Steve Allen
|Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it. - Mark Twain